Tuesday, July 10, 2007

I'd Like to Welcome You to the Living

I'd like to welcome you to the Living Anxiety Dream Museum, but there's no time for that now, is there? Because you're late, and, you see, I'm to tell you to go straight up to the room, since the testing's already begun--

Well, it's your exam, how on earth are we supposed to know which one?

Just take out your number two pencil and go room to room, for all we care--

Didn't bring one? You'll have to see if some better student brought a spare. They're wherever Trig exams are, and I'd get up there, if I were you, Buddy. You're going to miss the whole thing at this rate--

Oh. Then what did you study? Hey, are you all right? You look nervous. Is that why you forgot your pants?

Why would they be whispering about you?

Of course, I understand. The restrooms are right over there.

The doors? We took them down. Don't worry. Hardly anyone stares. When you're done, go straight to the O.R. Your patient is in labor, and you're the only one on call. It's up to you to save her, while you balance--don't fall--on the windowsill, and hold this. Don't spill! And pay this bill.

That growl? Don't worry. It's not angry, just hungry. It takes a lot of calories to stay so big and furry. It'll be fine; it really will. Just stay quiet and lie still until it eats it fill, and tires of the kill.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Tya Yellaribn writes: Now you are there, it is time to get going. Again. Wake up and smell the herring.

August 20, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Tyranas Horas writes: my short arms let me get up real close to my opponents and the slap them weakly. This usually makes them laugh. While they are feeling smug, I eat them.

August 22, 2007  

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