Wednesday, August 29, 2007

"Don't we all claim to be doctors of some kind?"

That was what Frida asked me at breakfast today, when I started to explain how I got here. I will be frank: it made me angry, maybe in a way I haven't been angry in a long time. If there's one main problem I have with the people here, it's that when they hear a question like that, they will just nod seriously as if it contains some kind of elegant wisdom, and is not preposterous.
Let me tell you what I think about that. I think, what I think, seriously, is that even if I were in a coma, or dead, I would be alert enough to think that was a stupid question. I do not claim to be a doctor of any kind at all. I once told a cop I was a judge to beat a ticket for failure to yield in a traffic circle, and another time I bought a seal and pretended to be a notary, to expedite a little deal I was making, but I do not claim to be a doctor of any kind. I don't say I wouldn't be good at it, or that I don't privately go around diagnosing people, or even that I'm above a little autosurgery when I have a deep splinter or suspect blood poisoning, but just that I don't do it under the guise of some phony legitimacy. I took my tray and went to another table, but I'd lost my appetite by the time I sat back down.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Terry Dactyl writes:

Of course it wasn't all a bed of unnamed mosses back then. I for one had a deuce of a time until I was diagnosed with astigmatism. For the longest time I kept missing my prey, not by much, just enough to cause me a geat deal of pain and many nights of hunger. Ten times, at least, I broke a nail on my talon and many other times I seriously damaged my beak.
That doctor Kimmelman was a god-send. Once he conviced me to perch on his chair and identify the animals he had drawn (very life-like, by the way)he was able to show me that I need to have corrective lenses implanted. Now its look out groundlings. Yum!

August 29, 2007  
Blogger Dr. Donald Brief said...

I am a doctor. More like the guy who played keyboards for Prince,tho.

August 31, 2007  
Blogger Captain Mervyn Klagman said...

But with an injury, you want a captain, not a doctor, no?

August 31, 2007  
Anonymous Ady said...

Good for people to know.

November 11, 2008  

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